Ah, relationships. For me, and probably you, I was taught they come in one flavor: monogamy. One partner, one love story, one single-file line of “happily ever after.” But then, someone whispers the word polyamory, and suddenly, it’s like you’ve stumbled into a relationship buffet; multiple connections, endless possibilities, and the kind of curiosity that leaves you saying, “Wait… people do that?” 

Yes, we do.

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering what polyamory actually is and how it’s different from other forms of ethical non-monogamy (ENM), grab your metaphorical plate, because I'm about to dish it up, with a side of wit, of course.

Polyamory: Love as an Open Concept

Let’s start with the basics. Polyamory comes from the Greek word poly (many) and the Latin amor (love)—so literally, “many loves.” It’s a relationship style where people can form multiple romantic or emotional connections simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Simple enough.

It’s not about sneaking around, and it’s not “just a phase.” At its core, polyamory is built on values like communication, honesty, trust, and the belief that love isn’t a limited resource. For those who want to argue this just think about having children, when you have the second does that diminish your love for the first, or for your partner? My belief is no, love isn't limited.

Think of love like Wi-Fi: just because you’re connected to multiple devices doesn’t mean the signal weakens. 

Polyamory vs. Other Forms of Ethical Non-Monogamy: The Family Reunion of Love Styles

Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is the big umbrella term that covers all relationship styles where partners agree to engage in non-exclusive connections. Polyamory is just one member of the ENM family—let’s meet the whole crew.

1. Polyamory: Many Loves, Many Connections

Polyamory involves multiple romantic and sometimes emotional relationships. It’s not just about physical intimacy; it’s about building meaningful bonds. You might hear terms like hierarchical polyamory (primary and secondary partners) or non-hierarchical polyamory (everyone is equal).

Example: You’re deeply in love with Partner A, also dating Partner B, and maybe building something new with Partner C. Everyone knows, everyone consents, and everyone has access to the group calendar.

2. Open Relationships: Love with Fewer Strings

Open relationships tend to focus on physical intimacy outside the core partnership, rather than forming deep emotional or romantic connections. They often come with clear agreements like, “We’re open to sleeping with others, but our emotional relationship is exclusive.”

Think of it as: Having a solid home base but occasionally going on exciting vacations.

3. Swinging: Social, Sexy, and Usually Couple-Centric

Swinging is where couples consensually engage in sexual experiences with other people, often together. It’s more about recreation than romance, think of it as “group activities,” but for adults.

Key vibe: A night at a party rather than a shared life journey.

4. Relationship Anarchy: Rules? Who Needs ‘Em?

Relationship Anarchy (RA) is the cool, rule-free cousin of the ENM family. It rejects the idea that relationships should follow predefined structures or hierarchies. RA focuses on freedom and creating connections based purely on the needs and desires of those involved—whether romantic, platonic, or somewhere in between.

Motto: Let’s make our own rules as we go.

5. Don’t Forget Solo Polyamory:

Solo polyamory is for people who enjoy having multiple partners but prioritize their autonomy. They often don’t center their lives around a single “primary” partner. Think of it as being romantically adventurous and fiercely independent.

What Polyamory Isn’t (Let’s Clear This Up)

Now that we’ve got the definitions down, let’s bust some myths:

Polyamory isn’t cheating. Cheating involves deception; polyamory requires honesty. If you’re sneaking around, you’re not poly—you’re just lying.

Polyamory isn’t about “more sex.” Sure, sex can be part of poly relationships, but it’s really about forming connections and exploring love beyond exclusivity.

Polyamory isn’t for everyone. And that’s okay! Some people thrive in polyamory; others prefer monogamy. The goal isn’t to “convert” anyone—it’s to figure out what feels right for you.

How to Know If Polyamory Might Be Your Jam

If you’re poly-curious, ask yourself:

Do I believe love is something that can be shared, not limited?

Am I excited by the idea of open, honest communication (and willing to put in the work)?

Do I feel secure enough in myself to navigate occasional jealousy or challenges?

Polyamory isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being intentional.

Choose Your Own Adventure

At the end of the day, polyamory is just one way to experience relationships, and it’s not a “better” or “worse” option than monogamy or any other form of ethical non-monogamy. It’s simply a choice. Love isn’t one-size-fits-all, and the beauty of relationships lies in figuring out what works for you and your partners.

So whether you’re rocking the monogamous life, exploring polyamory, or charting a totally new course, remember this: love is a journey, and you get to decide how to travel.

Now, go forth, curious traveler, and may your heart’s Wi-Fi signal stay strong.